Here Be Trees
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Tuesday, January 27, 2009
9:03PM
This week I am mostly.... at a school placement, well, an academy to be exact. Granted my school was not your average teenager's experience, but it does seem to me that things have changed a scary amount since we were there. Was it always so loud for one thing? Probably! I'm not going to ramble on about the decreasing standard of teenage behaviour because you can find that vitriol in any newspaper these days, but thought does occur to me that we seem to be expecting more and more from children whilst giving them less and less (in terms of routines, boundaries, guidance and freedom to be children at least). It's quite a depressing experience, anyway, and it's only Tuesday... It doesn't help that they have a ridiculously over-secure automatic locking door system that makes going in and out about as easy as popping out for a pint from Alcatraz, but on the upside the whole place is unnaturally clean.
I am looking forward to Friday, writing up my report and thanking the merciful divine that I decided not to train as a teacher!
Current mood:  thoughtful
Monday, October 22, 2007
Today I have been feeling all dull and sleepy, but have now been thinking about choices. It's funny how important they are in our lives, don't you think? Even the illusion of choices seems to be vital. Perhaps there is something in the rallying call of necessary freedom - not as necessary as air, water, food, perhaps - but more important than I realised. Perhaps I am just slow on the uptake!
In other news I have just drunk one of the worst cups of tea in my lifetime. I must drink another now to get over the shock..... aah, better.
Current mood:  groggy Current music: *slurp*
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Well, I am at work and really should be working but that is nothing new really! Things have been a bit tough over the last couple of weeks, or months in fact, though as usual reading what you guys have been up to cheers me up. It just seems like some certain things are an uphill struggle for us recently, and I'm tired of being tired of it all. It's not like I'm sitting around every day sighing and staring out the window in a woe-is-me fashion, quite the contrary actually, I've been really busy. It's just hard because the constant low level stress of it all is wearing me down. I know it's interrupting my sleep, sometimes my appetite and definitely my mood. I just want to feel back to normal again - I know what long term stress does to your health and it's frankly stuff I can do without.
I sound really cheerful don't I? It's not that bad, not life-crisis bad by a long stretch. I'm just tired of waiting for things to get better when every week goes by and nothing changes. Still, it can't last forever. This too will pass etc.
Have ordered 300 on DVD, looking forward to mucho hilarity when it arrives. Truly that film is entertaining in every sense of the word.
Hope to see some of you soon!
P xx
Current mood:  gloomy Current music: I wish!
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
I'm currently on hold again for BT. It's pretty ironic that it's the telephone company I can't get through to, when I've had no problems with water, electricity etc. That's the problem with moving, there's so much to do! I'm incredibly tired today, and still have a depressingly huge amount to try and fit in before work on Thursday. Still, it's all for a good cause - the new place is great so far and I'm really really looking forward to being all moved across and settled in properly.
If I ever get through to BT then it will probably result in the internet disappearing for a while, so that'll make me even worse than normal at replying to emails etc.
Gah, screen is all blurry as my eyes are going to sleep! Must...pack... :)
Current mood:  apathetic
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Seriously, it should be medically defined. I'm trying to write up my assessment pieces for my mediation course, but have flagged after the first one! Ah well, only another 11 to go *_*
I have gone through a few areas of the flat, clearing out unwanted stuff in preparation for packing - however there still seems to be a depressing amount to move! I am ridiculously excited about the move apart from that, particularly now we can finally afford to be cautiously optimistic about the state of the finances, so we'll actually be able to get all the new stuff that should make it a really nice home. Isn't it strange how the more stuff you have, the more stuff you need just to keep it tidy and organised? Tidy and organised are not words you would immediately associate with our current flat, but hopefully that will change! It's still going to be cosy mind, but we are quite poor people so we'll have to be used to cosy for a while yet.
I hope you are all well doing your various activities that no one (apart from Jem who I already knew about) has told me about ^^ Congrats on new job Amy - bringing in the pennies is a happy state!
Blessings x
Current mood: thoughtful
Friday, June 29, 2007
3:25PM
Haha! Have just passed loads of time by re-reading all my LJ entries. Sun still shines, I am still bored. Would life be better or worse if fruit could fly?
Good grief I am bored. I am all by myself in the office, I've had about one hour's worth of work to do all day (plus dealing with irritating questions) which I have managed to stretch out all the way until now. I have bound up a load of cardboard boxes I shall attempt to cart home tonight for packing (suspect it will turn my arms to crap) and really have nothing useful left that I could conceivable do. It's amazing how much I could accomplish with this time if I were at home, but sadly it is not to be. I'm one step away from rearranging the filing cabinets - and that's not a good place to be!
Yesterday I was out and about helping with the graduation ceremonies, which was surprisingly hard work. I got rewarded with smarties though, so it all turned out well. I'm off to visit my sister at the weekend, which should be fun. I'm a bit knackered though, so I'm not sure how much fun I'll be! Everything seems to be so busy at the moment, and I've got loads of stuff I need to do, not even considering the packing (which is something I try and do as little as possible). Ah well, that's what next week is for!
I really hope we get the place we've applied for - no more word from the letting agency, which I consider a good thing as the most likely word at this stage would be 'no'. We should find out the beginning of next week hopefully. If all's well then we'll be starting to move in two weeks time. Good grief again, I suppose I really should start packing! I'm really excited about it actually (moving, not packing obviously), I really love nesting! We're not going to have a huge amount more space, but hopefully we'll be a little less cramped and the place will be easier to keep tidy. Plus I'll get a garden to play with, although I think it'll take me a while to get it looking reasonable - even if it is tiny. The last tenet at the place had to be evicted (!) so it's in a bit of an... uncared for state. There, letting agency speak at its best! As long as there are no dead bodies in it, I'm not fussed.
Wow, sunshine, that's something I only barely remember. Damn I wish I was outside. Argh, it's just turning three - surely only another hour until it's a reasonable time for setting off? Thank the gods for flexi-time.
I've eaten all my smarties....
Roll on weekend xx
Current mood: bored
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Well, it's lovely and rainy out my window, which is discouraging thoughts of going outside! It has occurred to me that I am quite curious at the moment; loads of you are graduating/have just graduated and I only know a fraction of what you plan to do next. Please let me know where you are right now, where you plan to go, what your results were, whether you have a plan or just a giant screaming void of indecision! This will satisfy my nosy impulses. Ta xx
Current mood:  amused Current music: bunnies rustling in hay
Thursday, May 24, 2007
1:52PM
Hello all,
I am sat at work during a lull in the mad exams rush, so thought I would take this opportunity to thank, in advance, all of you girls coming on Saturday. I know how busy and stressed you've all been and it really means a lot to me, so thankyou! Hopefully it will be a fun day for all and a nice unwinding session - but as it's all a secret to me I don't know! I'm looking forward to it anyway ^^
It's funny to think I've only got a week and two days of being a Miss, surely I should be more nervous/worried? Well, there's time yet....
Over and out xx
Current mood: relaxed Current music: phones going off... must answer
Sunday, April 22, 2007
2:27PM
Hello all,
Hope things are well for those of you in dissertation-hell-land, or at least as well as one could expect. I send you psychic sympathies. All quiet here, expect for Jem-like celebrations of a birthday nature. Hmm, he still has my chairs - must remember to get them back *before* I try to sit down where they should be.
Tis sunny! Say yay xx
Current mood: mellow
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Crikey, well I haven't posted this year and it's now March. Guess it gives you a good idea of how uneventful my life is! Work is work, passes the time, brings in the pennies. Sadly we are still very short of pennies, sometimes it feels like we'll be stuck in this financial situation forever, what with one thing and another. I try not to think about it too much - sometimes I succeed!
Look I've run out of things to write already... time was I would ramble on anyway, but instead I shall generously just end here ^^
Hope all well with all of you
Current mood: calm
Friday, December 22, 2006
10:54PM
Merry Yuletide all!
May your fires be bright and your hearts be merry.
And all that jazz ^^
Current music: happy humming
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Yay!!! I have a job! It's at the uni, being an exams assistant and is only two days a week, but on the plus side I have free time and won't get ill! Also, the other one I applied for looked hideous, so I am so pleased they offered me this one :) Huzzah all round!
Current mood: ecstatic
Friday, November 17, 2006
Well, I was indeed very lucky and managed to reschedule the time, so I have one in the morning and (the long) one in the afternoon. Huzzah! Oh wait... I have to do two interviews in one day! Scary much. Still, it'll be over quickly :) I was feeling very pleased with myself and then I had another phone call from a third job wanting an interview.... on the same day! Fate has a strange sense of humour. Well there was no way I'd fit three in on one day, so sadly I've missed out on that chance - they never can reschedule the day. Actually, she was really quite rude, so she doesn't deserve me ^^
As Amy rightly pointed out, it's silly to be worrying because it is a good situation! But now I do have the worry that if one does offer me the job, what do I say when I'll still be wondering what the other says? I am a silly person and must stop worrying about things that, not only haven't happened yet, but may well never happen at all. I can just screen my calls :)
Suit shopping tomorrow. Wish me luck xx
Current mood: contemplative
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Greetings on this grey day,
The tree outside my window is very orange, in fact, it went orange overnight... I'm not sure trees are supposed to do that.
Haven't been up to that much recently (no surprise there!) except cinema trip yesterday, and meal out and sitting in the pub-ness too. Busy day for me actually. On the job news, having applied to part-time posts for about 2 1/2 months and heard NOTHING I experimentally applied to a full-time thing which sounds good fun. I now have an interview with them next week. This is, obviously, a good thing (if terrifying) but now I have heard from one of the part-time posts I applied for a while ago and they want to interview me too... on the same day! Argh! What are the chances? So I now have a dilemma. Considering the unlikelihood of interview rescheduling, I have to choose between going for a job that sounds good, but may well make me ill, or going for a job that sounds boring but I will probably be able to do. Of course, if I'm lucky, whichever one I email my apologies to will happily reschedule me, but there is no guarrantee, so I must make a choice.
As I always say, most choices are decided almost instantly, but you spend all your remaining time worrying it's not the right decision and trying to justify it. Sod it, I'll follow my instincts.
xx
Current mood: thoughtful Current music: nowt
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Sooo, no job :( I am getting really fed up of applying to stuff and not even hearing back, let alone failing after the interview. I know it hasn't been very long yet and the Bath jobs market is totally rubbish, but it's difficult to be patient when you're stuck at home, bored out of your mind and penniless. Must...keep...a....positive....attitude :D New jobs newspaper out now, so the game begins afresh.
In other news... birthday meal was fab, thanks to all who came, it was a great evening. I think that actually concludes my other news. See? BORED OUT OF MY MIND! lol
Blessings xxxx
Current mood: bored
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Hello folks,
Hope all is well with you. Not much happening here, weather getting colder. I'm feeling well enough to start applying for jobs (yay!), only part time, but it's something! It's my birthday next week and I shall be a grand old 22. Hope all of you with new houses are settling in nicely and that uni isn't too hard. I starting to not miss it but think it'll take a little longer til I'm not sad about not being a student anymore. Still... no more all-nighter essays. Hmm, I'm starting to feel better already....
Blessings xxxx
Sunday, August 13, 2006
1:19PM
Haven't written in here in ages, because I'm trying at high cost to avoid 'sob-sob-poor-me'-ing, but have succumbed today - I'm blaming the cold weather!
Hope everyone is well, and enjoying the summer, even if it is more like October than August today. James, the rabbits and the hamster are all well, although I keep having dreams where I have to count our pets and we have more than we should, with no idea where the extras came from! What would Freud think, I ponder? Generalised Rabbit Anxiety Disorder ^^
I've not been doing much, which is normal for me right now because I'm (and I'm forcing myself to be truthful here), quite frankly, more ill than I can remember being. This is not a lot of fun and is, understandably I hope, getting me down somewhat. It's mainly the loneliness I find hardest to deal with. At least I'm a person who likes to spend a decent amount of time by myself or it would be far worse.
I just wish I had a little more hope. Generally I manage to be quite optimistic about many things, but it's sort of been beaten out of me a little with this illness! Every 'goal' as it were, I've subconsciously set myself with it has passed by unachieved. It never was going to be easy, I suppose, not in any lifetime. I just wish there was something I could do, something anyone could do. I don't want to think I might be stuck like this forever. I can't bear the thought of it actually.
I've been thinking a lot about blessings recently, I have so many good things in my life that it overwhelms me sometimes, how did I get so lucky? It's heartwrenchingly sad, isn't it, when you feel so lucky and just wish that everyone had a chance to be so blessed. Sounding a tad sanctimonious here, sorry about that, but what I really want to say, and I've been saying it all my life is: why isn't the world more fair? I know, we're adults now and our illusions have been firmly stripped away from us, but I'm sure it still bothers everyone now and again.
Just because this is the way the world is, it does not mean this is the way the world should be.
Bet you can tell I've had too much time to think ^^ I've been thinking a lot about memories too, mainly because there's so little going on right now I think! I know things change every year, every month in fact, but I wanted to thank you. I've had really good friends in my lifetime, and I wanted to thank you all for that, and all the fun we had.
Right, that's it for now, the rabbits are tugging on my jeans, so I think they might want some food ^^
Ooh, hope all at the con had a fabulous time, I'm willing to bet you did :)
xx
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Well, it's been a long while since I wrote anything on here - that's the problem with having no life, you have nothing to report!
Had good holiday with James, even though it was cold. Rabbits stayed with my parents, we managed to get them back but it was a close thing, my mother now loves them probably more than she loves me ;)
Have reorganised the flat a little bit - looks much better now. Need more pictures for the wall though, so I'm going to get some photos enlarged. No luck in the job hunt so far, but I'll continue trying, not much to do other than just apply to everything you like the sound of. I'm not much used to not having much to do, so I keep creating stuff (hence rearranging flat!) to keep busy. Had to order a new router (moneies!) but hopefully when it comes it will work properly and not like our present sulky erratic one.
Well, off for food now, then hoover!
Life of yay :)
Current mood: calm Current music: Chillies
Saturday, April 22, 2006
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